|Both still smiling but only one will be after checking his Twitter account|
Forget all those instant polls flashed on CNN and CBS showing Obama took a whuppin' from Mitt Romney Wednesday night. The instant abandon ship on the twittersphere was the most damning poll of all.
"Damn it. Somebody make me feel better fast..please," tweeted James L. Brooks. Michael Moore was having fits throughout thew debate. "Obama seemed incredibly distracted and somewhere else," he tweeted. "His mind wasn't on the debate. What was he told before he went on stage?" And also: "This is what happens when you pick John Kerry as your debate coach."
"I can't believe I'm saying this," weighed in Bill Maher, who before the debate dubbed it the Thrilla in Vanilla, "but Obama looked like he DOES need a Teleprompter." Maher again: "Healthcare. If Obama can't win this round, Eddie Futch has to stop the fight."
Piers Morgan made the obvious prediction: "Romney's poll numbers will move up significantly over the next few days."
Obama, as even Democratic back room wizard James Carvelle noted on CNN, didn't bring his A-game. He looked like that guy at the Oscars who gets played off after going on and on, thanking his wife and telling his kids its time now to go to bed and meanwhile forgetting to thank the studio, producer and director.
Much of the twitter trauma, however, was directed at moderator and veteran PBS newsman Jim Lehrer, who, to put it kindly, went one presidential debate too many. The CNN headline should have read, "ELDERLY GENTLEMAN RUN OVER BY TWO MILLIONAIRES."
As comedian Patton Oswald tweeted, Lehrer was like the guy in the diner who goes, "Miss, I-I'd like to order," only to have the waitress shout back, "SHUT UP NERD I'M NOT FINISHED WITH THE SPECIALS."
Chris Rock joked, "they need to take a break so Jim Lehrer can have a bathroom break and a hard candy." Even Al Roker, celebrator of centennial birthdays, tweeted, "I hope Jim Lehrer gets licence plate of truck that drove over him in this debate."
Moore tweeted, "Eastwood's chair would do a better job moderating this debate. Romney is both candidate and moderator."
Maher, as you'd expect, was more blunt: "Hey, Lehrer, you're the f---ing ref, stop letting the MittBot bully you--he can't fire YOU."
Or can he? Romney's aside that he'd axe the annual PBS appropriation--even though he likes Lehrer and Sesame Street--sparked plenty of reaction. "Mitt will stop the subsidy to PBS!" cracked Maher. "Well, that should solve the deficit problem." Added Rock: "Oscar the Grouch is like, 'Seriously? I already live in a garbage can.'"
Roger Ebert's take: "Romney's promise to cut help for PBS won't go over well with millions watching the debate on PBS."
Sesame Street should rush together and episode brought to you by the letters MITT and the number 47, as in percent.
Overall, Rock had the funniest take on the debate. "Both candidates debated poorly. Obama is thinking about his anniversary. Romney is nervous near a black man. Jim Lehrer is made out of clay." And finally, "CNN reports that Obama will end the debate by holding up Bin Laden's head w/his birth certificate in Bin Laden's mouth."
Yes, I tweeted too (@BillBriouxTV): "These debates are so dull #NBC just gave them a full season order."
The next televised debate, between vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden and Paul Ryan, is scheduled for Oct. 11, live from Danville, Kentucky. ABC News' Martha Raddatz will moderate.