In an aggressive effort to speed up the North American economic recovery, U.S. president Barack Obama today fired 553 CBC middle managers. The move takes effect at noon today.
The White House said the drain on not just Canada but the world's economy could no longer be tolerated. No evidence could be found that the middle managers accomplished anything besides sucking billions of dollars out of the pockets of Canadian taxpayers. "Florida was getting killed," explained Obama.
The move should enable the beleaguered broadcaster to order a full 13 episodes of Being Erica, keep both The Simpsons and Rex Murphy as well as restore This Hour Has 22 Minutes to a full 22 minutes.
The network will also take advantage of the situation by ordering the new reality show The Week The Middle Managers Went. The three minute special will show how producers of CBC TV shows are able to cope without the money sucking weasels who used to make off with their public appropriation funding.
A spin off of The Next Great Prime Minister, tentatively titled The Next Great Minister of Heritage, will also be introduced next fall, with the twist being that some kid will actually win a chance to become Canada's next Minister of Heritage. The big prize: face time on the Juno Awards.
The U.S. president can now turn his attention to an even greater emergency in Canadian broadcasting--firing the Aspers.