Be the first on your street to own a Pel-a-D'oh! Center of Excellence T-shirt! The 100% removable garment comes with a smiling portrait of the Reverse-Midas CEO, complete with "Simpsonized" chinless grin and teflon-coated business attire!
Order today and receive a free Brian Muldoon Chia Pet! Simply place in The Sun and watch it absorb every last ounce of positive energy!
Order this minute and we'll throw in millions of pages of worthless company stock! Suitable for composting! Creditors are standing by!
(Offer void in Quebec.)